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Friday, October 24, 2008

Halleluja with a TWIST!!

Ok so I think I've finally figured it out!!!

I mean... we've gotta admit that I seem to have more drama than the average person right!?

I mean seriously... things don't happen in halves in my life! It's the full on dramatic bad episode of days of our lives every single freakin day (minus the whole cast sleeping with each other and sons and daughters marrying ex lovers mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters and all that crap!! And no one in my life has had amnesia yet... which can I say is the LAMEST illness that soap operas never let die down?!?!!!.... so over it!!!!).

Anyways... all the rest of my dramas would make for a good soap! It can't just be little hick ups here and there... NO SIREE! It's gotta be full blown kick in the head DRAMA!!! Followed with a 'HALLELUJAH', and then ending with a 'Dun dun dunnnnnn' TWIST!

SO I was thinking about it the other day... and I asked myself the question... WHY THE HECK ME??!! Because it IS pretty unusual! I have plenty of people around me that go through life without the kind of extremes that pop up in my life!

But then I realised...

I think word must have got out about my RAT GiRL comic... so people in my life must be deliberately screwing with me JUST SO THEY CAN STAR IN IT!!!!!!!!!!! The cheeky shits!

*GiGGLeS*... OK maybe that's a bit far fetched... but that's what I'm going to keep telling myself anyway, so that I don't drive myself insane!!!

Come on people!! Pretend with me!!! :-D!

Anyways so as you all know (well those you have read) The latest drama has been with the Midwife from hell and all this crazy gestational diabetes nonsense!

It's safe to say that the bitch has to go! So I've been working up the courage to ditch the bitch and get someone more reliable! But I struggle with confrontation.. so things like this is never easy for me!

Usually I let RAT GiRL deal with it! But... honestly... do you think I could really get away with feeding Slackbitch to a crocodile in the real world?.... *sigh* I think not!

So how does one tell a slack-arse midwife to "Get the hell out of my life you lazy slag of a slack arse bitch, shove your doppler up your fat arse and FFS wear some long pants and cover those HIDEOUS varicose veins that make me want to puke every time I see them!! Pull ya fucking head in and start taking some responsibility, or better yet do everyone a favour and QUIT YOUR JOB because sitting on your arse, drinking coffee and catching up with your friends seem to be all you are good for!!! Oh... and lay off the drugs that you MUST be stealing for yourself from the clinic, because either you're a fucking dumbarse or you're high off ya saggy tits ffs!" .... in a nice way?

I don't think it's really possible!

But GUESS WHAT??? It turns out I didn't have to after all!!!

Mum and I went to see her yesterday... I was already pissed off at her and had a million things running through my mind wondering if I was going to turn into RAT GiRL if she was to say anything to make me snap!

First of all, when we got there for my 10.30am appointment, the lady at front desk told us that slackbitch had JUST taken another lady in! This pissed us off because she did this the very first time too... She made us wait for half an hour standing in a horrid little room for my first glucose test, when the time was CRUCIAL to take my bloods spot on the dot!

Mum had asked her if she had double booked or something to which Slackbitch replied "*shrugs* Nah... we were just catching up." !!!! No apology or anything! So she got off on the wrong foot with us from the start!

So this time, Mum told the lady at front desk... "Look! She made us wait like this last time! We have an appointment for 10:30am!" Mum made it clear that we weren't gonna wait for her bullshit again, so the lady went into the room to tell that we were there.

Luckily... this made her hurry, but if it hadn't been for that... I know we would have been waiting for flippin ages!

So urge to kill... was rising!

But when we got in there... Mum did most of the talking which calmed me down, because I know I may have flown off the handle explaining the drama with the results!

Mum explained that we were not happy with everything and that she would be taking me to see her personal diabetes specialist to have another PROPER glucose test to be on the safe side.

Slackbitch didn't object... so that sat well with me!

So I managed to keep my cool through the whole appointment, it was a nice quick consultation that didn't take very long at all. But I gotta say... during the consultation... her phone rang... and SHE ANSWERED!!! Yapped away for a good 5 mins to some chick.

It may have been work related, and usually I don't mind people taking phone calls in the middle of a 'check up' but remember what I said in my last post?...

She hang up on me and refused to take my call to give me urgent results BECAUSE SHE WAS TOOO BUSY CHATTING WITH A FRIEND!!!!... The cheek of it!!

So it was just about time to go and she was booking me in for my next appointment, and the whole time I was thinking... nows your chance Giggle... ask about getting a new midwife so you don't have to see this bitch again... do it... DO IT.... DO IT NOW!!!!

But then the most amazing thing happened...

Slackbitch says "Oh by the way... I should probably let you know, as of next week, there will be another Midwife taking over my position, I am finishing up as a Midwife and going back to my other job... don't worry... this lady is really lovely, but you wont be seeing me any more, and I hope all goes well for you."


I wanted to scream... I wanted to somersault and do a belly flop (but that would not have been good for the baby!!!)

I was just about ready to kiss the ugly ogre until she concluded this dramatic episode with a TWIST...

Slackbitch continued - "But no doubt you'll see me again anyway... you see my main job is up in the birthing suite, so I'll most likely be there with you through the birth..."


DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.....

Someone shoot me now ffs!

xx

16 GiGGLeS:

Trixie said...

hehehe, I was just thinking the other day...slackbitch is gonna end up on RatGirl!!!!

Lets hope you have the baby in the middle of the night, cause I reckon Slackbitch wouldn't be working the evenings!!!! I mean, that would be just too strenuous for her!!!

Giggle! said...

Aunty Vi - Shyeah!! My thought exactly! She'll probably be too busy having coffee catching up with her friends to be bothered with the labour! But knowing my luck whats the bet I do get stuck with her!!!! Rurrr!!!! xx

craig andrew said...

Maybe Slackbitch is an alien with amnesia who married her father after double crossing her best friend in helping the Russian mafia? C;)

Jo-Jo said...

Is a midwife the same as our OBGYN? Just wondering. And when you give birth you can really tell her what you think and no one will say a thing!

Rae!xx said...

At least when you are effing and chuffing in the birthing suite you will mean every word....you take care of yourself and try not to get too stressed, not good for you girl...xx

Daryl said...

What's her other job? Diplomatic Corps?

And I would think you could have her barred from the delivery suite ... just tell whoever is in charge that her presence stresses you out ...

:-Daryl

Fat Controller said...

I was just about to ask if her other job was on the 'help' desk at the phone company!

Giggle! said...

C:) - LMAO I wouldn't put it past the horrid slag!! xx




Jo-Jo - I can't say I've ever heard that term... but a midwife is a nurse that gives you regular check ups and discuss pregnancy options with you while you're preggo. LMAO I intend to lose the plot if I need to when the time comes! xx




Rae - Hehe!!! Yup! I'll blame it on the pain!!!... (in my arse which she is!!) xx



Daryl - *GiGGLeS* Yeah I'm hoping that she wont be there the same time I am... but I'll be in no mood to bite my tongue then anyway. xx




Thinny - ROFLMAO!!! Shyeah! She qualifs for the job anyway! As she is shithouse on the phone!!! xx

Mr Farty said...

Picture the scene: GiGGLe in the birthing room, straining away, Slackbitch encouraging her with: "Come on, push, you can do it - hang on, I've just got to take this call, don't go away. Oh, HI, Sheila, how's it going? No, nothing much, pretty quiet really, just some chick with, er, steam coming out of her ears???"

Ron said...

OMG, Giggles...this is like a Steven King Nightmare!!!!!!

I swear...I got CHILLS reading the ending of this post!!

(and also LAUGHED my ass off reading your hysterical words!)

I totally agree with Trixie...put SLACKBITCH in Rat Girl the next time you publish!

I bet you'll feel a whole hell of a lot better!!!!

I will continue to do VOODOO on SlackBitch for you!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!

GOD LOVE YA, dear one!

Sending you MUCH "good energy!"

Have a GREAT weekend!

nitebyrd said...

Giggles, can you ask that she NOT be your birthing nurse? You shouldn't have to be stressed out whilst you're in labor. I can't believe that such an uncaring person is in that profession.

jenn said...

Well first she can only be your birthing nurse if she stops taking personal calls so Mr. Farty's comment had me chuckling.

Here's to the midwife not being the girl on the other end of those phone calls. Cheers!

Giggle! said...

Mr Farty - ROFLMAO!!!! I'm just cracking up at your choice of name to use!!! Sheila!! LMFAO!!!!!!! xx




Ronnie - Bwahahaha I don't know what I'd do without RAt GiRL! Probably be put in a looney bin! :-P Hahaha COOL! A voodoo doll! Why did I never think of that! Thanks Ronnie! xx




Nite - Yeah I'm sure I can... I'll worry about that closer to the time and hope that she gets arrested meantime for drug dealing or something! :-P I know right!? When she said she was going back to her other job... I couldn't IMAGINE what on earth it could be! But in the birthing suite was my last guess!!! LOL xx




Jenn - hahaha Cheers to that! *sculls chocolate milk!* xx

Gene Bach said...

You should have let Rat Girl at her nasty ass.

By the way, I decided to start blogging again and threw a new post up today if you wanted to check it out. Take care.

Rhea said...

Good lord, that photo is CREEPY! I'm sorry you're still stuck with the ugly ogre. I think you're on to something with the drama in your life due to rat girl though...everyone wants to be featured in your comic! hehe

Shannon said...

Oh, the drama!

I don't know how it works Down Under... but maybe the midwife from hell won't be "on call" when you deliver and you'll have someone else there!