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Monday, March 3, 2008

To call.... or not to call!


Blergh!!!!!

Is there a dream interpreter in the house???

I've been having these horrible recurring nightmares for the last 3 weeks, it's a very short one but it feels like it lasts for hours and has me waking up at 2am on the dot every night with an anxiety attack!

The whole dream starts off with me at my parents house in the computer room absolutely FREAKING out knowing that my ex Boyfriend is in great danger! I seem to know exactly what kind of danger he is in - in the dream but I have no idea in reality what it is.

Anyway I keep picking up the phone and panicky try to dial his number, but my fingers keep slipping and I can't dial the right number. So I just keep hanging up and trying again! But each time I try again it becomes harder and harder to dial the numbers and I stuff up even more! I keep trying this for hours and just panicking trying to get a grip on it!

The intensity is just mind blowing! I am freaking out like it's a matter between life and death! Eventually I come to a point where I can calm myself down and tell myself to just relax and dial the numbers slowly. But at this moment my hand just keeps swelling up a hundred times bigger than the phone itself making it impossible for my now HUGE fingers to dial the individual buttons!

That's when my dad walks in and starts talking to me... I can't hear what he is saying because I am too busy freaking out. I start screaming at him to stop distracting me and he just smirks and starts throwing $100 notes at me! He does it in a provoking manner and I start getting really worked up! But then I get this idea to pick up a $100 note and jump in a taxi to go see my ex! That's when I wake up screaming with anxiety at 2am!!!


I have always have very vivid dreams, most of them mean nothing but some of them come true! I've dreamt that my pets would die, and a week later they do. I dreamt that my Pop died a week before he did too. I also dreamt that my Dad had a heart attack a week before he did as well!

And these have all been unexpected events!

I had this strange dream a couple of years ago of a (NZ) friend of mine walking through a park cradling a baby, I could only see the back of her. I had not seen her for ages and was so excited to say hello, so I walked up to her and tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around and she had no eyes!!! Just these big gaping holes in her head that were weeping of blood! She was crying "my baby, my baby" I looked down and the baby and it was just a cloth soaked in blood! I woke up screaming!

About a month later this same friend of mine was at the park in NZ with her daughter and a friend of hers. She collapsed with a brain aneurysm! She woke up blind and slipped into a coma. She lost her baby before she even knew she was pregnant! ....This really spooked me!

Anyways my point is that it scares me that some of my dreams actually come true! I don't always get it right but I have been close. Like last year I dreamt that a close male family friend had a heart attack. He was like a second father figure to me, and I was so afraid that it was going to come true that I decided to write him a heartfelt letter telling him how much I love him and appreciate him, in case I never got the chance to!

(Don't worry I didn't say oh by the way I think you're gonna die! *GiGGLeS*)

But it turned out I was wrong, it did happen, just not to him! It actually happened to my Uncle several weeks later, who I am also very close to! I see this family friend and my Uncle as equal people, both like 2nd father figures, both adored and will both be very missed by me! So although I interpreted the wrong person, it was an easy mistake to make because they are so similar in my eyes. (I didn't actually see his face in my dreams)

So I'm wondering if I should take this dream seriously? It has been suggested that I should call ex, but it's a little more complicated than that.

We were together for about 5 years and although it was a messy breakout, we were fortunate to both leave on good terms and remain friends.

He even met Hubby, and we all had a fun drink together! He really will always be a close friend to me.

But when he got a girlfriend, he became a little strange, not to mention that she is a little psycho and had banned ex from seeing me!

I steered clear of him completely when I heard about this, and he agreed it was best that we don't see or talk to each other any more!

But I had to call him one day to get his permission for my 'Clairvoyant Story' to get published in That's Life (as he was part of it.)

He was fine with it in fact excited for me! But he also told me that he still had feelings for me and that each time I talk to him it makes it harder for him to get over me.

So I was like EEEEEEEEKK!!!! And I decided I would NEVER ring him again! The next time I saw him was the DAY before my wedding to hubby! I had (LITERALLY) bumped into him at the shops while getting some last minute things.

Eh! I could tell that just by the way he was looking at me that an old flame had sparked up all over again. In a way I almost felt it too for a moment! I was in a rush thankfully and had to dash so it was a very quick and small talk chat! But just as I was leaving I heard him quietly say "ahhh just when I thought I was finally over you." I don't know if I was meant to hear it but I pretended I didn't and kept walking. That was the last time I ever saw or talked to him and that's how I need it to stay.

As much as I adore him as a mate, it's not fair on either of us if he can never get over me by us staying in contact.

So... here is the big question...

Do I call him with concern from this dream?

....... Or don't I?

Blergh! It's a weird situation!!!!

xx

8 GiGGLeS:

Vi said...

Okay I know it was me who suggested to call him, but knowing a little more on the last times you had contact with him, why don't you instead contact his parents, or his sister? Just let them know the dream is bugging you and you just want to make sure he is okay.

Utter Basketcase said...

Aunty Vi - Yeh i thought about that too... but he doesn't have much to do with his family any more... I think that might even be weirder! I'm thinking I might just write him a letter! Or just get over it and call him and explain the situation! Eh! I'll get there!xx

Anonymous said...

I don't think the dream is about him... but I am going to dangle that in front of your face and write more in a little bit. Sorry for the tease C;Pffft!

Joe said...

I'm no expert at dream analysis (or relationships for that matter) but I would steer clear of calling him. It sounds like there is too much history there, and this would only complicate things.

Utter Basketcase said...

C:)- You brat!!! *GiGGLeS* Well I had the nightmare a bit earlier this time and I'm awake! So Tell meeeeeeeeee xx


Joe - oooo hello :-) so nice of you to visit again! :-) Thanks for your advice, I think I've decided that I'll just contact his sister (I'm also close to her) and have her keep an eye on things, or tell him in a round about way xx

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Hum, I'm thinking. I used to be really good at this stuff when I was a virgin...at the age of thirteen. hehehe.
I think the danger lies in the call. The contact is the danger and that's why you can't get through. The fat fingers represents the fact that you in the most part know you should not have contact him...he needs to lead his life without your shadow cast beore him as a reminder of a lost love.

He still fights his demons and he must fight them alone if he is to become that person he once was.

last Monday I had a dream of a gurney. Friday night I saw that gurney. I saw a man die in a car accident...that empty gurney waited for him. He was 24 years old and died there.

Um...is that a bunch of bull or what...Even I don't belive it.

babes...you have to follow your heart. You can't go wrong there.

Fab post.

Anonymous said...

The other night I had a dream my sister-in-law was in labour and some French lady was looking after my nephew and called me to let me know.

Saturday night my brother called "Nephew escaped" (though not that bluntly) and his parents-in-law were there with my nephew. Her stepdad - from Quebec. Enh? Not too shabby, eh?

I was thinking as Spiky Jones was - there was a reason why -you- physically were unable to call. A friend has been having weird dreams so we happily go analyze them (because we're dorks that way) online. Always good fun.

As I am the Queen of Stupid Things, I'm not touching any of what you should do with a ten foot pole. But I'll watch with my bowl of popcorn.

Utter Basketcase said...

Spiky - oo interesting theory Thanks :-) OMG Did you really see a man die? :-O xx



jenn - *GiGGLeS* Heck! I think I'll just join you with your popcorn! I'm over this stupid dream and what to do about it! :-) xx