Life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat...

Because sooner or later we ALL get PISSED OFF!!!!!

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What a SHIT day I've had!!!

First of all I've been having shit sleeps all week! Waking up with anxiety attacks from nightmares! So been getting NO sleep!

Not so long ago today I was doing my daily reads of everyones blogs and I was in the middle of reading Magnus when the cupboard behind me fell on my head! (from the bloody cats swinging on it!) Lots of blood (but it's ok.. it's just a little cut!) I was trying to take a photo of the blood all over the floor but my camera died ffs! But bare with me coz I think I have concussion and I may not be making much sence at the moment! LOL

But to top it all off! The friggen dogs have escaped again because someone left the gate open!!! (we think! Or the wind blew it!)

I tell ya... these dogs!! Have cost us THOUSANDS in pound bills! But all because of one nasty bitch down the road!

The dogs are usually pretty good, Hubby lets them out all the time when he is out the front and they never go far and always return!

But for ages when our fence was broken (and the dogs were breaking the panels) They would be NO WHERE to find, and they would end up being at the pound! Which is a whopping $600 EACH to bail them out every time!!

(and they wondered why we couldn't afford to fix the fence!)

Anyway.. we ended up finding out that this bitch down the street had been STEALING THEM, putting them in HER backyard, making it impossible for US to find them or for the DOGS to return back home! She would then ring the pound and have them collect them!!!

She even confessed to the pound that she knew who we were and where we lived but she wanted to teach us a lesson for not getting the fucking fence fixed!!!

I mean!!! GEEES!!! Hubby fixes the fence temporarily every day until we can afford to get the whole thing replaced! BUT all of our savings for the new fence gets spent on the fucking pound bills that this BITCH keeps ,making us pay!!! We did tie them up a lot, but we tried not to so much coz they are HUGE dogs and they need their exercise around the yard!

But the point is... we've temporarily fixed the fence at the moment to be impossible for them to escape! They only got out because the gate was left open (by the pool man possibly) and I bet any money this BITCH has got them again! And we will probably have to bail them out AGAIN!

We only live on one wage ffs coz I'm too sick to work! But FFS this lady has NO heart! It is just so unfair!

Hope that all made sence to ya's!!!

xx

I AM NOT A CHILD FFS!!!

GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! I have just had my 5th phonecall TODAY from a telemarketer trying to sell me shit for no good cause!!!


But if that's not annoying enough... every single one of them start with the same question!!!


*Phone Rings*


Me - "hello?"


Tellemarketer - "Oh hi, is your Mummy or Daddy there?".............


FFS!!!! I'm 24 years old, I am not a child ffs!

So I have a young voice, but for crying out loud wouldn't you want to make sure it is a child you are actually speaking to before you embarrass yourself?

Seriously! They ALL have done it! I have never had ONE tellemarketer that has assumed that I am the lady of the house! I mean, shouldn't they say "Hi could I please speak to (persons name!!!) OR "The owner of the house?" IT'S NOT THAT HARD!!!!

It isn't all bad though! I use to say "Ugh! No! I left my Mummy and Daddy's house years ago to move into my OWN house with my HUSBAND!" They always get embarrassed!


But NOW I just put on a baby voice and say "Daddys in jail and Mummys at the pub!"......

THAT GETS RID OF THE BASTARDS!!!!

*GiGGLeS*

xx

Results are in!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!

*Auidience Cheers*

Most of my readers think I'm FUCKING AWESOME and they LOVE MEEEEE!!! :-D .... HEEEEHEEEEEEE *Gets a big head*.... *GiGGLeS*

Ok so being new to blogland I made a poll last week on how I was doing with the whole thing! (Hey... I've got my famous Aunty Vi's blog to live up to.... it's pretty daunting stuff! :-P)

And to my pleasant surprise... I'm not too boring after all! YIPPEE!!!

Thank you to all that voted for me saying that I'm 'not bad at all and they'll be coming back for more!' And an even bigger thanks to those who said 'I'm fucking awesome!!!!' :-D WOOOOO you Rock! xx

Not one blogger at all voted for 'undecided' or for me to 'Fuck off coz I'm boring!' (Chicken shits! :-P) xx

Ok... so now that this poll is over... I decided to make another one! It's something that I REALLY need your help with!

If you're a regular reader, you'll know that I'm obsessed with changing my hair colour! But my poor hair is dying of too much bloody dye!

So I have decided that I'm going to STOP changing my hair colour and stick to just ONE colour only! *sighs*

But what colour?????? I can't bloody decide!!!!

So I want to know what YOU think!.....


Aunty Vi Brunette!!!?

SORRY GONE!

Bimbo Blonde!!!?

SORRY GONE!

Carrot top Red!!!?

SORRY GONE!

Or Something COMPLETELY different!!!?

SORRY GONE!

*GiGGLeS*

Please take my new poll at the bottom of the right side bar with your vote!!!

All votes will be appreciated!!!

P.S Sorry if you missed out on the 24hr photos of Aunty Vi on my last post! They were priceless! :-) *GiGGLeS*

xx

My Aunty Vi!!!!

SORRY YOU MISSED IT!

Aunty Vi and I at my Mum and Dads house in Oz!

YAY well with permition from Aunty Vi, she's allowed me to share some photos of her to go with this post! Bwahahahahaha :-) *GiGGLeS

But the photos are only up for 24hrs so here's hoping you wont miss out!!!
I LOVE my Aunty Vi!!!! And for those who already know her, you'd be crazy not to love her toooooooo!!! :-)

My mum (Vi's sister - who I ADORE) tells me that the second I was born, the first thing she said when she saw me was "Vi"! She said that all she could see was Vi's face on my tiny newborn body and that I was a spitting image of her!!!! Heck! even while mum was giving birth to me she was chanting Vi's name to take the focus off the pain! "Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi! Vi!" No Joke! *GiGGLeS*

It didn't stop there though... even to this day, Mum and my Granma BOTH keep calling me Vi by mistake!!! It use to piss me off because I have my own name!!! But then I grew to love it because Heck!!! It's a compliment really! *GiGGLeS* :-P So now people joke about me being Mini Vi!!!

Not only do we have similar features, but we are a lot alike in many ways. We both love to get out and have fun! We both can cry at a drop of a hat! We both make friends very easily! We both have a great sence of humor! and we both can sit around and drink and smoke together till the ugly lights come up!

But there is one thing that I can never compete with, and that is....

SHE CAN BLOODY WELL DRINK ME UNDER THE TABLE!!!!

*GiGGLeS*

Ok, well there are plenty of things I can't compete with, but that is one I sure will NEVER be able to do! :-P

It sux that she lives on the other side of the world, because she is like a breath of fresh air to be around! But then again, some mornings after a night with her can feel like I've been hit by a train and have been licking an ashtray all night!!! Maybe it is good that I only see her once in a blue moon! :-P

It's exciting when we get to see her after a long time, the whole family adores her, but at the same time it's like "Listen up everone, Aunty Vi's coming to town, drink plenty of water because it is time to get shit faced and PARTAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *GiGGLeS*

SORRY YOU MISSED IT!

Hitting the town in OZ!

Me (left) and Aunty Vi (right)

She is SOOO fun to party with, it is IMPOSSIBLE to have a shit time when she is around! Even my friends adore her, and are always asking when she's in town next!

SORRY YOU MISSED IT!

In the toilets of an Aussie Night club!

Me (left) My best mates - Hef (back) Red (right) and Aunty Vi (middle)

She can make even the most boring person come out of their shell and let their hair down!!!

SORRY YOU MISSED IT!

Us Goofing off!

Even Strangers are drawned to her! She makes friends every bloody where she goes!!!

SORRY YOU MISSED IT!

Aunty Vi and her Groupies making mates with a stranger!

Hef (left) Red (next) Heck knows? (next) and Aunty Vi (right)

She is the bestest most funnest Aunty in the world and I wouldn't have her any other way!

:-) .....

I'll leave you with this poem I wrote...

She is so sweet and caring,
and as generous as can be.
She can also be quite daring,
her spirit is so free.

She attracts so much attention,

especially from the guys.
But some I will not mention,
cause some have caused her crys.

She has been through a lot,
she is so very strong.
She has never lost the plot,
when people did her wrong!

She is an amazing Mother,

her kids are sweet for sure.

These boys are like no other,

this family I adore!

When the boy's are with their Dad,

it is time for her to play.

With her - fun will be had,

she may even bring home a lay!

:-P

If she has no man to hump her!

it is Hunk she likes to phone.

But she'll always have her Thumper,

if she's ever all alone!

*GiGGLeS*

She may be loved by many,

all women and each man.

But forever, more than any,

I am Vi's biggest fan!!!!!

Oh BTW... I dug up this old photo of her too which I just HAD to share

;-)....

SORRY YOU MISSED IT!

BUGGER!

Aunty Vi Blonde!

*GiGGLeS*

I LOVE YHOOOO AUNTY VI!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Did I mention that I'm the crazy cat lady?!!!

Yep! I scare off visitor's by throwing feral cats at them!!!...

Ok maybe not...

But I do have 6 of the feral things!

I am a huuuuge animal lover, I love all creatures big and small! I even go as far as avoiding stepping on ants, and saving all the bugs from drowning in the pool!!! I have EVEN been bitten by a RED BACK SPIDER! while trying to rescue it!!!.... TWICE!

So I sure can get a little ridiculous sometimes! But having 6 cats is VERY ridiculous!!!

Let me introduce you to the little terrors!...


It all started with Miss slutty pants here .... Marbles

Not long after me and Hubby moved into our house, I came out into the lounge from having a shower one day to find hubby on the floor feeding this stray cat (Marbles)! Apparently she came to our door and was meowing her arse off! So hubby let her in and fed her (she was starving!) It looked like she was either a stray or was very poorly looked after, though she seemed to be too friendly to be feral!

It was actually hubby that wanted to adopt her (SHOCK HORROR!) I was a bit funny about it coz I was worried about the dogs eating her! (They live out the back!) Plus we had mice (no not pets, feral mice that lived in the walls and came out at night to eat the nibblys that I'd leave for them! *GiGGLeS* Hey!!! Animal lover here remember!)

So anyway we decided that we would look after her but keep her outside on the front deck with food and shelter (though it didn't take long till she got her own way and lived inside ffs!)

After about a week we noticed that she was getting FAT! She was too big to be overfed, so we realised she was PREGNANT! I'd never had a cat in my life so I wasn't ready to deliver kittens! So with advice from a vet we decided that we would take her to RSPCA where they would birth the kittens and give them all up for adoption!

So once we handed her over and signed some papers, I asked the lady how quickly cats get adopted out (for my own peace of mind!) "Oh," she said... "We wont be adopting them out, if the rightful owner doesn't come for her in 3 days we're going to have to put her down!" .............

"WHAT?!!!!" I was shocked that I could be responsible for the death of this poor cat and her kittens - I was trying to do the best thing for her!!!

So I was like "Oh HECK no! I don't want her to die, give her back I'd rather take care of her!" But the SLAG wouldn't give her back! She said that because I'd signed some papers to say that I wasn't the rightful owner, I had no rights to take her! So I was PISSED OFF!!!!!!!


I did the funniest thing though... I got my Granma (Aunty Vi's Mum) to ring up and pretend that the cat was hers! *GiGGLeS* But of course she'd never even seen the bloody cat before so I had to go in with her and help her identify it!!! So what did I do? I got all dressed up undercover - wig and all with a plan! Granma (bless her) got all into the part too and wore a funny hat to disguise herself! We had fake names and everything it was sooo fucking hilarious!!!! But we got away with it and won Marbles back in the end! Woooooo!!!!


So a couple of weeks later Marbles gave birth to 4 beautiful bubbas! I was there with her through the birth, and I tell ya it was SUCH an amazing experience! Plus I had recently had a miscarriage so it was almost like filling this empty hole in my heart! *awwwwwwww*


Come meet the little shits....


First we have Peewee (Hubbys Bitch!)

This spoilt little princess was the runt of the litter! Why do I call her Hubbys Bitch? Coz the little slag is obsessed with him! The bitch ignores me, but she follows Hubby around like a bad smell and gives him all the affection in the world!!! The only time that she talks to me is when she's telling me off for cuddling with her man!!! Seriously, the second I cuddle up to hubby she comes along and trys to break us up ffs! She gets sooooo jealous of our affection for each other! It's so fucking funny!


Next we have Bart (MY Boyfriend!)...

We call him Bart because he's a little yellow haired bratty boy! But surprisingly... he is the most well behaved! If he could clean the house he would! The poor bugger always walks up to mess on the floor and tries to sweep it away with his pores (bless him!) But he has A.D.D he is soooo hyperactive and is just exhausting to keep up with! He's my little boyfriend because he comes to sleep and cuddle up with me in my bed (the others have no interest!)


Next we have Boodgie! My little Boofhead!

Boodgie is a the identical twin of Oodgie! He is the laziest, fattest slob of a thing! He lays on his back, belly up ALLLLLLLLL day long! He sleeps more than I do!!! And I sleep A LOT because of my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome! The only exercise this fat cat gets is when he hears the sound of a cat food can opening! He can be dead to the world in a coma, and nothing can wake him up... but the minute he hears that can opening, BOOM he is quicker than a flash straight to the food! *GiGGLeS*


and heres his twin.... Oodgie my baby....

Unfortunately we lost Oodgie to my worst nightmare! Hubby left the back door open one day and being the little adventurer he was, Oodgie snuck out the back to where the dogs were. The dogs played with him too roughly and he died later that night in the veterinarian. He was my baby, he was always by my side, never left my lap! I was in the shower at the time when I heard his screams. *wipes tear* But he is forever in my heart, and will never be forgotten!


At first we had arranged to get all the kittens to a petshop when they were old enough, but when I took them in, the fuckers told me that they were too big and that no one would want them!!!! (Which was bullshit because they were younger than the age that the petshops actually take!) And there was no chance in heck that I was takin them to the RSPCA again!!!!

So in the end the whole thing became too stressful and we decided to keep them!

We call Marbles Miss Slutty Pants because before we could get her desexed the little tart went and got herself knocked up again!!!!

So then she had another litter!

There were only 2 in this litter (thank heck!) She had 2 little girls 'Tipsey and Pebbles' they are soooooo cute!!!!

Unfortunately I don't have any photos of them as yet cause I haven't been able to find my bloody camera!!!! But take my word for it that they are cutiepies! *GiGGLeS*

We actually thought Tipsey was a BOY at first and I named her Woodgie coz she looked like Oodgie! But when Boodgie started to try and root her (ffs) I realised she was a GIRL! (LOL that sounded like a poem!) So I changed her name to Tipsey coz she has terrible balance and walks like Aunty Vi when she's had a few! *GiGGLeS* Luv ya Aunty Vi! xx

Pebbles is the most curious thing on the planet! Ya just have to fart and she's sniffin around ya arse!!!


So thats the cat family! It's amazing how different cat's personalities are!!!


Since all that Marbles went all weird and crazy being around her kittens 24 -7 (probably something to do with because the cats are grown up now and freaking STILL try to suck her tits!) So she has found somewhere else to live to get some space, and you wouldn't believe where! .....



On our roof!



Yep, the nutjob lives on the roof 24/7, wont come down for anything! So I risk breaking my neck everyday just to climb up on the fucking thing to feed her!!!!!!!


It's a fucking nuthouse!!!!


But I wouldn't have it any other way!!!!

xx

Oh by the way... tomorrow I'll be posting some special photos that are for 24 hours only!!! So make sure you pop in and don't miss it! :-)

Johnny Depp is Yummy!!!

I Love Johnny Depp! He's the hottest actor ever!

(But not as hot as Hubby of course! *GiGGLeS*)

So I tried to watch his latest movie 'Sweeny Todd' a few days ago, but I had to turn it off 30 seconds into it when some chump started singing!

I CAN'T STAND MUSICAL MOVIES!!!!

But I wasn't aware of what the movie was actually about until Hubby told me it was based on a true story of a psycho killer!

Apparently this fella set up a barber shop with this reclining chair that would flip back and open a hatch to below the floor! He would slit his clients throats with his barber raizor and drop them down the hatch to his girlfriend who would MAKE PIES OUT OF THEM!!!!!!!!!

As soon as he told me this I was like FUCK YEH!!! How COOL! So I attemped to watch it again! I gotta say, it wasn't bad for a musical, but if it weren't for Jonny Depp and a psycho storyline I would never had bothered!

I'm a bit of a disturbing girl like that, I love gore and blood and guts and psycho killers and shit! (Creepy I know *GiGGLeS*) Mum tells me that when I was a little girl we would go to the video shop and mum would tell me to pick any movie I wanted! Expecting me to go to the childrens section I would always run over to the Horror section and pick out the most horrifying cover I could see!

I use to do disturbing stuff with my dolls too! I would perform operations on them, mutilate them and scribble red nicko all over them as blood! Our neighbour almost had a heart attack one day when she walked out the back to hang out the washing! She peered over the fence into our yard to see one of my dolls hanging by its neck with rope on the clothesline! She thought it was real! LOL I would also put my dolls in the fridge and pretend it was a morgue! *GiGGLeS*

IM NOT A FREAK I SWARE!!!! :-) I'm as harmless as they come!

I don't know why I just love gore so much! I have a real interest for crime and psycho killers and I love my horror movies!

I think it's because I am just so curious with the way that the human brain works, and I can not for the life of me understand how someone can bring themselves to murder someone and feel no remorse! But I'm desperate to know why they do it!!!

And for the whole horror love that I have, well as a child I always wanted to be a special effects artist! I would LOVE to be a horror movie makeup artist and cover actors in fake blood and gory wounds! Dunno why! It's just art to me! :-D I had the desire of being a forensic investigator at one stage too!

Still wanna be my friend? *GiGGLeS*

xx

Play with pinkypoo!

adopt your own virtual pet!

Isn't he cute?...
I am such a sucker for these things!

xx

Hello, my names VBF and I... am a Bloggerholic!!!

Audience says.... "HI VBF!"

I LOVE BLOGGLES!!!! (That's my nickname for Blogger - my new Boyfriend! *GiGGLeS*)

Does the novelty ever wear off??? I can't get enough of the bloody thing!!!

I started this blog to vent about how shit I am as a housewife and how I just can't get my arse into gear to clean the bloody house!!! But has it helped me? NO! It's made me even worse coz I spend all bloody day with Bloggles don't I!!!!

At least before I started this thing I was attempting to do my housewife duties! But now I don't do a bloody thing! I even forget to feed the poor bloody cats during the day coz I can't drag my arse away from the computer!

LoL! Don't get me wrong... I 'm LOVING IT! But I have a serious addictive personality!

I get myself hooked on new things and I can get totally overboard and go NUTS with it! I guess I'm just a girl that allows myself to have fun before anything else! Problem is that for me it is ALL play and no work! But I can't decide if that is healthy or not!

Mind you, I do believe one reason I have for why i avoid the house work is because I am obsessive compulsive too! The thing is, when I actually DO clean, it has to be PERFECT! I can't just sweep mess under the rug, I have to scrub the walls, dust every ornament, position the wall hangings to be level, rearrange the furniture, and put every single object in a specific place!

Oh that's a huge thing for me.... I have perfect boxes with perfect lables of perfect catergries to put perfect items in! Seriously, as an example I have a ridiculous system of steps to get ready...

Box one - Labled: ~Pamper!~ Contains: All my lotions, body products and face washes! But wait it gets worse.... Every single item has a lable on it TOO of which step to use it!!! Eg: Body Lotion - Labled: ~Step one!~ (because it's the first thing I put on, after I have a shower!) Mud mask Labled ~Step 2~ Facewash Labled ~Step 3~ TEETH WHITENER! ~Step 4!~ and so on so on so on so on!!!! Is'nt that just psychotic??? I just can't freaking help it!

But it doesn't stop there... I have the box lable system for EVERYTHING! Like Box 2 is Makeup! Foundation: Labled:~Step 1~ Eyeshadow - Labled ~step 2 ~ etc, etc!!!! I even have boxed sets for my perfumes, shoes, hair stuff and jewelery in color coordination! YOU NAME IT!!!! I can not for the life of me help it!

Whats worse is that all these boxes and lables are covered in pretty paper to perfection and the Lables are handwritten in pretty writing which I'll obsess over if the letters are not symmetrical ffs! *Sheesh!*

So my point is, that I am a LAZY perfectionist! When I clean the house, it has to be done obsessively and be made spotless! If I can't do it perfectly than I wont touch it at all! So as you can imagine, when I DO actually do it... it takes me weeks of a cleaning frenzie mood! I can't just pick up the mess from the night before, I have to scrub and dust the ENTIRE house all over again to be satisfied! It's insane.. I know!!!

But I don't have time to obsess over cleaning while I'm busy feeding my fun addictions! Like BOGGLES for one! I spend every waking moment obsessing about what I'm gonna post about next! My page has to be pretty and the colours have to compliment each other! As much as I adore the idea of War Child it bugs me that the Logo is red and clashes with my page! *GiGGLeS* I don't mind really! :-P And I just HAVE to read everyone elses Blogs and leave them comments because I just can't get enough!!!!!

Other addictions that I have (besides smoking!) Is COMPETITIONS! I can't go a week without my That's Life and Take 5 magazines, and I have to enter EVERY competition! Not only the competitions but I send entries into get published such as Stories, Funny photos, Advice, Questions etc, ect! I enter absolutely EVERYTHING! But hey... they pay you good money and I've won heaps from them!

I also have a thing where I have to personalise everything (as I've explained!) I just can't stand to have the same thing as someone else, mine has to be different ALWAYS! I even personalise PEOPLE! LOL I give everything and everyone I know my own personal nicknames! I'll rarely call someone by there real name! Half the time people don't know what the heck I'm talking about when I speak! It's just a bunch of gibberish like a whole other language to strangers!

But that's who I am, and even if I wanted to change I don't think it would be possible!

Oh BTW, I have an obsession with changing my hair colour too! I can never stick to one! (as you can see in the picture I have blonde hair!!!!)

Well at least I'm not a stay at home nothing anymore... I'm a stay at home Blogger!!!!! :-D *GiGGLeS*

xx

This is for Peach!

So, here I am, being hot, and hmmm, nothing else!

*GiGGLeS*

(See comments on the last post to know what I'm on about!)

xx

I'm as useless as Paris Hilton!!!!

Paris is hot.... but thats about it!!!

Speaking of paris... play this game it's bloody hilarious!

So last night I was having my daily winge to hubby about how useless I am and how I wish I could be a better housewife! It's funny, I always seem to seek undeserving sympathy for being so undeserving!!!

He is lovely though, he is always supportive and tells me that it doesn't bother him and how his love grows stronger for me everyday! Bless him! xx

As I always do.... I said to him "Oh hunny I hate that I am so useless, I feel like I'm good for nothing!" He replied "You're not useless bubba, you are useful for lots of things!" "Oh yeah?" I asked, getting excited that he could boost my ego..."Like what?"

He had a good 30seconds of hard thinking and finally he replied...

"Well.... You're Hot!!" ...................................

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Hunny! You sure know how to make a girl feel special!!!!
How the heck is being hot a useful thing?!! *GiGGLeS*
xx

Well I'll Be Damned!

Well as requested by Aunty Vi, I've decided to tell the story about how me and Hubby met! It's more of a story about a clairvoyant actually! But all shall be explained! *hehe*

It's quite the story really, it was good enough to get published in the That's Life magazine! Woooooohoooo 300 bucks baby!!! Speaking of which... I got an email from That's Life today telling me that they are going to be publishing my photo! YAY... easiest 50 bucks I've ever made! (Hey! I'm a stay at home bored house wife! I gotta make money somehow!)

But anyway... on with the story!

When I was about 14 Mum and I went to see a Clairvoyant at a wisdom shop at a local shopping complex! For a start I was very sceptical of this woman as she had the dodgiest layout in the back of the shop, and she looked like a real wackjob with her freaky clothes and bad body odor!!! But when the time came for her to read my future, it was the shit that came out of her mouth that really proved it to me that she was a fake!

Little did I know... that years later I'd realise that the freaky bitch would be spot on correct!

So anyway, first of all she told me I had two older brothers, (which is true) and she pretty much described my personality down to a tee! But being the sceptic I was, I was able to laugh and think to myself *pffft* Lucky guess! So I let her ramble on giving her the chance to prove herself, but while what she was saying about my past and present was impressive, it just wasn't enough for me!

So when it was time for her to tell me my future, my attitude was like 'yeh here we go, dribble more shit!' ...and dribble more shit is just what she did!

Ok, so at the time I was with my ex Boyfriend, who I was MADLY in love with! He was the boy of my dreams, and we were just MEANT to be together! (yeh right!) Well that was dead on how I felt about him at the time anyway! So the first thing she says is.... "You're going to go through a tough break up with your boyfriend, there will be a lot of heartache and stress." ................... ':-O BITCH!!!!' *I thought*! 'How frikken dare she tell me that my soulmate is not meant to be!!!'

She was SO in my bad books then! That bad start had me slumped on the chair with my arms folded and a cranky frown on my face! There was no way that the rest could be true now!

She went on to say "Not long before the break up, a very close family member in your immediate family will have a near death experience with a heart problem.".... 'HA! Good thing you're a fake! BI-ATCH! because I would hate for that to happen' *I thought*! She was just insulting me now!

"Soon after that you will receive a very special phone call from a friend asking a special favour from you." ... 'Is this chick on crack??! Who makes up shit like this!!'

By this time I'm yawning and watching a bug crawl across the ceiling! Yeh! That was more interesting to me than the poo that was coming out of her mouth!

She went on to say "You will travel overseas." .... 'WRONG!!!... I HATE travel with a passion! I don't ever want to leave here just to visit another town!' This slag was amusing me now! Her predictions were getting worse and worse! And to me she was soooo off the mark it was hilarious!

"It is overseas where you'll meet your soulmate - a tall fair handsome man, who will save you on a large staircase." .... 'Blah Blah Blah' *GiGGLeS*

"You will move to that Country to follow your heart." ... 'OH HELLLLLLLLL NO! This is just getting ridiculous!' There was no way that was going to happen because I could NEVER have the desire to leave my home town (I take after my Dad)! Also my brothers had both moved out of town and I was the only child left at home, and I was always pissed off at them for leaving Mum and Dad! So I wasn't about to consider it myself EVER, it's important to me to be near my family!

So when the bullshit reading was over, I snatched my stupid cassette tape recording and went to tell Mum not to bother with her coz she's shit! lol! I never took anything she said seriously (how could I?) and I'd pretty much forgotten all about it by the next day!

Years went on and on each year that my Boyfriend and I would celebrate our anniversery, I couldn't help but have a little smirk to myself about how wrong that nutjob was! 'Messy break up hey? MY ARSE!' It was 4 years later and our love was still as stong as ever!!

But that was all I could remember - the bit about the messy breakup, because it was her saying that, that pissed me off the most!!! The rest I didn't even bother to take in!

But then it happened!!!! Not long after our anniversary my BF started acting really strange! He had mood swings and rage, like he was a completely different person! I ended up finding out that he had a drug addiction, which he had been hiding from me for years! But the side effects were finally taking effect and he had become angry and violent! Especially when he tried to give up the drugs to keep me!

But it didn't last long before it became all too much for me, and it was time to leave this scary relationship! It was extremely hard though, because I was in love with the guy without the drugs, but he just wasn't there any more! So much to my disgust that the nutcase clairvoyant was right, it WAS a messy and stressful break up, because it took me a year to actually leave him! But then again... I put it down to another lucky guess!

One thing that actually broke me down to no longer handle our relationship, is before we actually did split, my Dad had suffered from a heart attack! It was a really scary time, the stubborn thing refused to go a hospital (much like me) so my Mum had to drag him there! When they saw him they were shocked that he was still alive! They called him the walking dead man! So he was very lucky to be alive, and thankfully after a a triple bypass he was back on his way to a good recovery!

Not long after that I had a phone call from a long lost friend from NZ! I'll call her 'Red' coz BY GOLLY her hair is so red and long! I hadn't seen or heard from her for years since she moved to NZ! We didn't exactly leave on good terms because I was so pissed at her for leaving me (I can be a bitch like that sometimes!)

"RED!!!! OMG... You were the last person I was expecting to hear from!" I said! After talking for hours and catching up she went on to tell the real reason why she called. "You're my best friend VBF and I'm getting married, I want you to be my maid of honour!" 'HOLY CRAP' *I thought!* This meant that I would have to go against my own morals and travel outside of my home town! But I was so stoked that she had asked me to be part of her wedding after the way I treated her, so I was more than happy to go!

SO I traveled to NZ, and it was Beautiful!!! I fell in love with the place instantly! I couldn't believe I never allowed myself to leave my home and explore the rest of the world!

But what was even more beautiful was the HOT tall blonde MC at the wedding! Oh yes he was yummy! There was just something about him that made me so drawned to him, I was busted all bloody night gawking at him with my tounge on the floor! I asked Red "Who the heck is that gorgeous guy?!!!!!!" "Oh, that's my cousin!" She said, "He is also single too! ;)"........ OMG OMG he is SINGLE? That really suprised me! Coz surely something that gorgeous would have been snapped up a long time ago! But then I had to remember that I was holidaying in another Country! So I steered myself away from the thought of the chance of any kind of relationship with him!

This little town is so small that pretty much everyone knows eachother! So to all the horny single males there I was like a fresh peice of meat! For pretty much the whole night I had males swarming around me, desperate for my attention! But the whole time any of them would make small talk to me, my eyes were fixed on the MC who would be in the distance leaning on the bar, minding his own business! He was pretty much the only guy that hadn't approached me! All I wanted to do was go over to him and learn more about this handsome stranger! But I kept getting trapped into these BORING conversations with people, and I didn't want to be rude and snub them!

But then i noticed him walk over to my Mum and start a conversation with her (Mum came too.... see paid for my holiday bless her!) Now to me this was appealing!!! Fellas, a great way to impress a lady is to charm her Mother! I was so impressed that he was such a gentleman to go and introduce himself to my Mum rather than try and charm the pants of me like the other bloody idiots! (I found out later that this was his plan all along... cheeky bugger!)

I also had the good excuse to say "excuse me, I just need to go and see mum" and I could finally join him! So we finally got talking, and the more he spoke, the stronger I felt for him!

(shit this is a long post!)

But before long I was interupted by other sleezebags, and MC got scared off and left me to it! I then needed to find the bride, for what reason I can't even remember now! But I heard that she had gone downstairs. This place has the longest steepest staircase I have ever come across! And it's buggered trying to get up and down them in stiletto heels!

So I started to rush down the stairs to search for red, but as I got to about the third step I tripped and was about to tumble down (possibly to my death ffs!) But in the next split second I felt these strong arms grab me and pull me back up to safety!... It was MC!!!! I had the most amazing feeling of dejavu (htf do ya spell it?), but I couldn't figure out what from!

When I got over my feeling of stunned, I thanked him and he smiled! Oh his smile was so gorgeous I coulda fainted and toppled down the stairs again! *GiGGLeS* He went on to tell me that he was just leaving, and that it was nice meeting me!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(I actually said that too!)

He laughed and was like "Oh? would you like me to stay?" lol after realising that I embarrassed myself with my thinking out loud, I thought I'd better let him go, and I offered to walk with him to his car! 3 hours later, here we were talking away leaning on a street garbage bin!!! (eww)! LOL so much for leaving! Then a couple of drunk mates came staggering out asking him for a lift! At this stage I was so comfortable with him that I insisted that I come for the drive. I ran into find Mum to let her know that I would meet her at the hotel later, she was getting sloshed with Red's Mum and was having a great time! Love her!

So after dropping the drunks off, MC decides to drive me to his favourite beach! It was soooooo romantic, walking along the beach together in the moonlight, barefoot in our formal wear! (Am I getting too sappy?)

Anyways we stayed up talking all night and didn't go home till the ugly lights were up! I had a flight the next morning! So I was buggered! But I was sooooo sad to say goodbye to him! :-(

When I got home, we stayed in contact with letters and over the phone! Since leaving there, I kept getting this feeling like I had left something behind! Eventually I couldn't bloody take it any more and had I decided to move there! So a few months later I did, and me and MC could finally be together for good! *Grins*

A couple of years later, I had to return to Oz for a little while because I had become very ill and I wanted my Mummy! I still had alot of stuff in my old room and I was going through it out of boredom one day!

I came across some dusty cassette tapes and I decided to sort through them and chuck out what I didn't want! I came across a nameless one and was curious to know what the heck it was! So played it..... it was the NUTJOB CLAIRVOYANT READING!!!! At first I thought 'OH! this is that shit clairvoyant reading I had years ago!.... I had forgotton all about it!' But then it hit me that some of the stuff that the crazy lady said had actually came true! So I let it play through and I listened..... HOLY SHIT! Not just some of the stuff she said came true... but ALL of it!!!!

I had massive goosebumps! And I was so shocked that all of this stuff had happened before I realised that they were the words of the clairvoyant omfg!

I went on to listen to what she had said about the things that had not happened yet.... "A family member will die and you and your soulmate will inherit a small fortune before you wed." Ok... now I'm believeing it! This poor bitch was right all along!

And she was again! Just before I married MC (Now Hubby), sadly, his Nanna died and passed on a small fortune. This fortune helped us to buy a house (Thanks Nanna!!! *kisses*) as well as all the other money donations we recieved in wedding gifts!

SO.... I'll be damned!!! The nutjob was right all along!!!

Now the only things left on the list is that we will have 3 kids! :-) And that is very comforting to me, because I keep having miscarraiges!

P.S. Take my poll and let me know how I'm doing so far as a blogger!!! (element on my side bar) *GiGGLeS*

xx

So much to do... but no motivation!

So I'm suppose to be doing house wife duties like every other bloody day! But do you think that I have? .... NO I've spent all my time trying to make a bloody Blogger Template haven't I!!!

I'm a girl of creativity and I love to personalise things, and I came up with the most awesome design for my blog template! (sad I know!) But the bloody thing was too high in file size that by the time I shrunk it down to size, the quality was so SHIT it was just too crap to use!!! *sigh*

So thats a another whole day wasted on something I don't even have to bloody show for dammit! Ah well! I did however find this skin on an awesome website! ... Do you like it? :-) A bit bright on the eyes? ... Well of course it is! All girly things are bright, and I'm a real girly girl! *GiGGLeS*

It's a really great website that has heaps of awesome skins! If anyone is interested in a blogger makeover go here!

Though I must warn you, it seems that each time you change your skin, all widgets get deleted! Lucky for me I am a fresh new blogger and didn't have a lot to lose, but still... it pissed me off! :-)

Oh BTW Thank you sooooo much to all that came to visit me and read my first post! I was giggling like a little school girl when I got my first ever comments! And thanks to Aunty Vi for introducing me! *Blushes*
I'm still new at this whole blogging thing and I'm trying to figure it all out! But for everyone that comments me, I'll add you to my Brilliant Bloggles and I'll come and read you too! :-) It's so bloody hard to know where to start and who's blogs to get into, but this will make it much easier for me!

Aunty Vi mentioned to me yesterday that if I had nothing to post about for the day I could always post about past experiences! OF COURSE! :-D I didn't even bloody think of that did I! My life actually was interesting up until about a year ago, that is when I became a recluse crazy cat lady! :-P So I guess I do have some great stories to tell! Maybe theres hope for me yet to become an interesting blogger! *Grins* YAAAAAYYYY!!!!

Now I just have to figure out where the heck I'll start! :-S

xx

Desperate House Wife!!!

I'm a big softy for my cats...
Even when they do make a mess of my house!

HELLO! :-)

I actually only joined blogland ages ago to keep up to date with my Aunty (Vi's) life! With her being in the UK and me in Australia, it's hard to stay in contact. So she let me in on her blog, and I tell you what!!! Not only does it fill me in on what is going on in her life but it's a bloody good blog to read! You can find it here -> Vi!!!

She actually suggested to me a while ago that I should start my own blog, but I wasn't interested because, well... my life is BORING! lol

But I was so impressed with her blog that I decided to check out some other bloggers too, and I was so amazed at just how different everyone is! I never thought to stop and think just how different everyones lifestyles are! Most of the bloggers I've seen on here are awesome people, but then you get the ocassional shithead like BBC! (He is my personal favourite that I just LOVE to HATE! *Grins*) Go on... have a stab at me old man - I dare you!!! :-) But the way I see it... you need a good enemy otherwise things can get a little boring! :-P You get all sorts in blogland, and I certainly haven't come across anyone with the same kind of lifestyle as mine!

So I thought BUGGER IT! Because my life is so boring, that is what makes me so different to the rest of yas! ;-) So I decided I'd make a blog of a boring person for a change! :-) Also for the sake of making a pretty page! :-P See.... I need to get a life!

So let me introduce myself!

My name is Vi's Biggest Fan... but you can call me VBF! :-D

I'm the laziest and most unmotivated housewife I know! I hate cooking and cleaning, (as most of us do) but the thing is, I actually rarely do either of these!!! My house is just about ALWAYS a mess and dinner is always a rushed job at the last minute late at night! I keep adopting homeless cats that I hardly clean up after, and I don't even have a drivers licsence! I think what is worse is that I actually have all the time in the world to get these things sorted... because I don't even work! All my life consists of at the moment is reading bloody blogs all day! :-)

I have an amazing Hubby who I absulutely adore and amazingly he adores me too! The only thing I have to offer is a hell of a lot of love, and lucky for me - Hubby put's my love before a clean house and a warm cooked meal! He is a great Husband that puts up with a lot.... or more like put's up with not enough!

The only time that I ever bother to make a good effort with cooking or cleaning is when I am expecting visitors! But I know it shouldn't be like that because I should be doing it for him too!

I guess I could be being a little too hard on myself, because there are some good reasons for my laziness! I have actually been very sick most my life and was finally diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which means I suffer from fatigue having no energy most of the time (which is why I can't work)! I also have suffered in the last few months with ruptured ovarian cysts, which is extremely painful and can have me bed ridden for days. But still, there are times when I DO have the energy and should be cleaning the house, but instead I waste it on a game of Eyetoy or Singstar!!!

But to be completely honest with you, even if I wasn't sick I don't know if I'd be any better as a housewife. I mean... I believe I am a naturally lazy person that hates to get her hands dirty and I am hardly ever motivated!

I don't know if it's a form of depression from my sickness or if I really am a slack, lazy person. But either way... it shits me to tears! :-)

Eh! But I guess no ones perfect right???

On a different note I am however a very bubbly fun loving gal who loves to laugh and get shit faced with a good game of Kings! (They call me Vi's mini me *GiGGLeS*) And as useless as I am... I am actually quite happy with my life! ... Well most of the time anyway!

Now since my life is so boring... what the heck will I post about next?

If anyone does actually read this post, I have no idea when (if any) my next post will be! Who knows... maybe something exciting WILL happen for me to post about! ... We shall seeee :-D

xx