Thursday, May 8, 2008

May you Rest in Peace Sweet Peewee...

I just popped on to make this picture to put with Peewees burial.

Thank you all so very much for your kind thoughts and comments. Also a huge Thanks for all the emails and E-cards I have received from some of you.

Thank you to Magnus especially whose comment touched me the most, and really made me feel a bit better, if even for a moment. Though I am just as sorry to hear about your loss too.

To be honest, I was not expecting all this support! I honestly thought most people would think I was a bit silly for getting so upset over a death of a cat. (Most people do.)

I know you're all aware that I adore animals and they are my passion, but I don't think I've ever quite explained just how much animals mean to me. To be honest I don't think any words could ever explain.

Peewee especially is much more than just a 'pet' to me.

In fact the exact day that she died, exactly a year ago from then was the day that I had my first miscarriage. And near around that time is when the kittens were born.

I was there for the birth of the kittens and it was such an amazing experience I will never forget.

Peewee was the runt of the litter, and she was unable to feed on her own. So I stayed up for hours on end for the first few weeks, continuing to help her find the teat so she could survive.

So to me she was like the baby that I saved in place of the baby that I lost.

So it has hit pretty me hard to lose her, especially on the exact day I had my first miscarriage one year later.

My second miscarriage was around the time that Oodgie died, and that was the worst day of my life until now.

And of course if you're a regular reader, you will know that Hubby and I have been trying very hard for another baby. But I was recently devastated to have a negative pregnancy test.

So with all of that put together and now this, has made it extremely hard for me to deal with.

But I do Thank you all very much for your support, I just believe it's going to take a little bit longer before I can smile again.


11 GiGGLeS:

Peach said...

peace and love to you sweet Giggles... X

Vi said...

Yes, we all know how much animals mean to you sweetie. Do your grieving. You will soon be giggling again. One reason I don't like having pets, is when they die, it is so heartbreaking. *blows kiss*

Lady in red said...

Take all the time you need, my youngest still grieves for the cat we lost about 4 years ago and says that if he could ahve three wishes it would be for our remaining cat to life forever. That particular wish had OJ commenting that she would become like a family heirloom passed down through the generations as each family grew up and moved on the cat (Nipper) would be left to the next generation in our family.

I suppose it would be good to leave something behind but I am not so sure Nipper would appreciate it.

I really hope you are back to your giggling self soon as I am sure Mulder will be crying at your absence

trublmaka said...

I remember when the kittens were born... you didn't think you'd cope too well...
But you did.
And you did a marvellous job as 'midwife' - and you were on your own too!

You know what you're feeling, and there's not a thing about it that is silly!
And for what its worth,
I still cry for all of my cats... even the one I had for only one night when I was 7!!
They leave their paw-prints on your heart forever, and its a mark that never fades

Daryl said...



Rhea said...

Cute picture. I can imagine how much this is upsetting you in addition to the whole pregnancy issue. That just makes it all the more hard. :o(

nitebyrd said...

I'd never think you were silly, nor anyone else for that matter, grieving over a pet! Our pets are more like family than some human relatives.

Sweetie, take your time. I'm sure we'll all be here for you when you feel like Giggle again.


Anonymous said...

A friend of mine calls them the Silver Chords; those strings of emotional energy that weave through our memories and behaviors. And, when one thing happens and strikes it strikes a Silver Chord and it starts vibrating, then we quickly discover all the things that were connected to it and start vibrating along with it. And, we tend to agree, that the best thing to do when one of those Chords starts vibrating is to listen to the sound and examine the connection... like you just did. C:)

And, if I may be so bold (Bold, not Bald!! C;P and i am trying to be delicate like a flower here. Yeah, I know, we'll see if it works... there are many times it doesn't work.) but, now you know that there will be at least one sweet ghost visiting your house now and again and playing around with things. C:)

Ron said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel about your love of animals, dear Giggle...words truly cannot explain it.

I love this little tribute and memorial to your kitties. It touched me deeply.

I too was with Jerry when he was I know that feeling of feeling like a parent to our cats.

Please take all the time you need to grieve, dearest one. It's only natural.

You are loved!

Magnus said...

Well - bite the bullet and tell the truth, I guess....

Yes - losing Rags was devastating, all the more so since she was our oldest cat, the one who'd been with us the longest. But you know? - I've stopped focusing on that one supremely BAD day.

Rags was with us for 6,750 days (that's 18 years times 365 days, not accounting for leap years). There wasn't a single day in all that time that she didn't make us smile, make our lives just a little bit better. to focus too heavily on that one day, is, I think, to dishonor our old friend, to minimize the happiness she gave us every day of those eighteen years.

Now I have to admit that it's been a while and I've had time to get some distance, some perpective on the situation. If someone had told me what I'm telling you the day after we had her put to sleep, I might have been nice enough to just turn my back on them and walk away; but more than likely, I would have reached for the grapefruit spoon, pushed it - hard! - up under their chin and trotted out my best whisper-of-the-grave voice. "Mind your own fucking business while you still have a voice to speak with."

I don't minimze the pain you're feeling. Greiving is an intensely personal thing and no one has the right to tell you you should be over it by now. Let it run its course as it should, and know that we're all here for you, to make it easier if we can. But don't forget - NEVER forget - the good days.

Blessed be, my friend.

Giggle! said...

Thank you everyone... your support means a lot to me. xx