Step... away.... from my.... PIE!!!!!

*GiGGLeS*

Pregnant or not! I am the kind of girl who LOVES her food, and I have been known to have the most bizzar cravings ever since I was a wee one!

Oh heck yeah! I LOVE eating french fries with icecream and cherry tomatos with strawberries! I guess it's because I'm so indecisive about whether I'm craving something sweet or something savoury, so I have them both together to ballance out my taste buds!

It's ridiculous!

If I had a dollar for each time someone asked me if I was pregnant because of my strange eating habbits, I'd be loaded!!! But now, that I'm actually pregnant, I'm actually craving NORMAL foods!!!

Well... I've been craving for gravy on my chips now instead of icecream! *GiGGLeS*

Point is, I have always been a craver and always will be! Food is my boyfriend and eating is the highlight of my day!

I get sooooo excited when I have something delicious sitting in front of me ready to be gobbled up BY ME!!!! Oh how my eyes light up with joy!!!

I am a very emotional eater! And I don't just mean the kind that eats when she is depressed (though I wont deny that I do!) But right now I'm actually talking about the emotional type that cries when she drops a chip on the ground and it's too dirty to pick up and eat!

It's history, such a waste... one less chip that I get to gobble!

*GiGGLeS*

Oh yes.... when I demand TLC from Hubby, I'm not talking about Tender Love & Care.... no no, I'm talking about a Tomato, Lettuce & Cheese sanga!!! *Flutters Eyelashes*

LOL!!! When I ask Hubby if he has been cheating on me, I'm not talking about with another woman, I'm talking about "Has he been eating my favourite foods with out me!!?" *GiGGLeS*

And God help him if he has!!! Oh Heck! He'll never live it down! I'm always snooping in his car for any empty take out wrappers he may have bought without me! (Any excuse to send him down the shop and get me a treat!) :-P

But, I don't always have the kind of relationship I would like to have with my food! You see, there is another man involved... a man... that gets in the way of me and my beloved food... a man... that interupts my eating affair... and it shits me to tears.... *sigh*

I am torn between my food and HUBBY!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok... so... My eyes may be bigger than my belly (tho not for long with the belly bean growing!) but my heart is bigger than my eyes!

And as much as I adore my food and want to be alone with it, I am not a greedy person! Many times I will be sitting there with a yummy juicy burger in my hands, my mouth is watering and my heart is doing backflips at the thought of the dilicious taste that I am about to experience! (Bit over the top I know!)

But just before I take a bite, I look up over at hubby... to see the same look of delight on his face.... AT MY BURGER!!!! *Sigh*!!!!!!!!

As much as I want to tell him to shove it, it breaks my heart to see him with out a burger of his own!!! So what do i do?... I Share it with him!!! And everytime he eats a heck of a lot more than I do ffs!!!

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love sharing! Any oppurtunity to do a good deed for someone unexpectedly and I'm on it!

But these particular times with Hubby REALLY makes my blood boil and I'll tell you why...

This is roughly how all of our conversations go, before these situations...

Me: "Hunny Hunny Hunny Hunny Hunny *Flutters Eyelashes*"

Him: "Oh ffs! What are you craving now?"

Me: "Ummmmmmm (What ever I'm craving for at the time)"

Him: *Lecturing me about how unhealthy it is and how it tastes disgusting anyway*

Me: "*puppy dog look*... *Doing my best to try and convince him that it's a matter between life and death, while sometimes using a bit of emotional blackmail and what ever else I can use to my advantage*

Him: "OK fine! But only if you *gives me a chore I have to do, which he and I both know I will never get done*"

Me: "Oh of course Hunny!!! I'll do it Mozzas!"

Him: *Muttering* (While grabbing his keys [silently because he knows I can't stand the sound of them] and heads out to the car to drive off and get my treat!)

Me: (Yelling to him as he heads to the door) "And make sure you get yourself something too, cause I don't want you stealing my food again!!! I'M TOO HUNGRY TO HAVE YOU EAT IT ALL!!!!"

Him: "Yeah Yeah! I can't stand that crap anyway! And I'm not hungry, I've just eaten!" (as he gets into his car.)

Me: "Thats what you say everytime! But this time I'm not sharing with you!!!"

Him: *Driving off*

Me: *Waiting anxiously and getting excited about wrapping my lips around my craving!*

10 MINS LATER.

Me: *Tripping over the cats, excitedly running out the door to get my food*..... *Disapointed to find that some of it has already been eaten by Hubby!!!*

Him: "Sorry I got a bit hungry"

Me: "So why didn't you get yourself something like I said????"

Him: "Because I wasn't hungry when I ordered it!"

Me *steaming* (But calmed down when I get a bite of the delicious taste.)

Him: "Can I've a bite?"

Me: *Flippin angry that I only got to have a few bites out of MY OWN craving! But I can't say no to him because I feel bad*

Him: *Finishes it off!!!!!!!!!!*

RURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously! It will be like a buger or something! By the time it gets to me there is only half left, and after a couple of bites Hubby is eating the REST!!!

This always leaves me emotional and hungry with the teasing taste in my mouth!!!!!!!

But the other day... our conversation went a little differently... and I don't think it will be happening again for a while (I think it's pregnancy hormones)

Me: "Hunny Hunny Hunny Hunny, I'd kill for a Brumbys pie!!"

Him: "Gross! Brumbys pies are the most hideous pies in town! Plus they are ridiculously over priced and not healthy for you! No Way!"

Me: *Not in the mood for the argument, but desperate for a pie! So I plead my case once again until I finally get my own way*

Him: "OK fine! But only just this once!" (As he grabs his keys)

Me: "Now listen to me" (As I sit him down to talk in all seriousness as if someone had just died!)

Him: *Looking confused*

Me: "Can you please get 2 pies, to have one for back up..."

Him: "Heck no! They are waaaayyyyyy too expensive!!"

Me: "I'm serious Hun, I'm hungry, I'm obsessed with Brumby Pies, you never let me have them, you're letting me this once, so I wanna make sure I actually get to eat it - without you stealing it from me!"

Him: *Laughing* "What are you talking about? I HATE Brumbys Pies! Don't worry, I wont want to touch the awful thing, and besides, I'm not hungry!"

Me: "You say that every time hun!!! But you ALWAYS end up eating more than I do, and you always leave me hungry and wanting more, it's torture!"

Him: *In disbelieve that I'm so serious over a damn pie!!* "OK, just this once, I'll get 2 Pies just in case, but you know you'll end up eating both of them because I can't stand them!"

Me: "YOU BEAUTY!!!! I wont complain about that!!"

So when Hubby left to fetch the pies, I was overwhelmed with excitement that today was the day that I get to have my treat to myself!!! And what was even more exciting was the possibility of having TWO PIES OMFG!!!!

Hubby actually sounded genuine this time! So I just really believed him!

10 MINS LATER

Me: *Almost breaking my neck rushing to the food*

Hubby: *Handing me a single, uneaten pie*

Me: "Did you get 2 pies?"

Hubby: *Blushing* "Yeah, but I ate the other one on the way home"

Me: *Actually relieved that he ate his and not mine* "See!!!! I told you!!!"

Him: "Yeah, well it was disgusting! I only ate it because I was hungry!"

Me: *Sitting down as I pull out my pie* "Ah well! I've got mine, that's all that matters" (as I take a bite.)

Him: *Staring at my pie*

Me: *Death Staring him*

Him: "Can I've a bite of yours?"

Me: "FFS WHAT DID I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!???????????????? THIS IS MY PIE!!! MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hubby: *Shocked*

Me: *Feeling guilty that I just snapped at him, and hesitantly handed him my pie* "Just a little bite... I mean it!!"

Hubby: *Bites half the pie away and screws up his face* "Yuck! That's disgusting!"

Me: *Snatching it off him* "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????? YOU STEAL MY FOOD, YOU EAT HALF OF IT IN A BITE AND DON'T EVEN ENJOY IT???? LEAVING ME WITH A COUPLE OF PATHETIC BITES??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????????????????

Him: *Running away*

Me: *Shoving the lowsy leftovers in my mouth as my eye twitches uncontrollably*

Yup! He wont be messing with my cravings for a while!!!...

(Hopefully ffs!!)

mmmmm pie!!!

*Looks for Hubby*

xx